Thursday, March 12, 2009

Back to the salt mines

Sorry for the weird title, that's just something my mom always says when it's time to get back to work. I'm heading back to work next week and, like a 3 year old, I want to kick and scream and hang on to the door knobs to not have to go but such is not an option just now.
Financially I think we could get by without me working. Dilbert and I always have made sure of that because it's important to us to have our kids raised by their parents, not a nanny. But that extra money goes toward things like future college tuition and repairs on the house and other little things like that that I don't want to go without.
Also, I like my work. I run a Children's program at a church and when I came on, there was no program. Now it's up and running and growing and I don't want to see it fall apart. That was my passion and creativity and time away from my daughter that built it, I don't want to see that wasted.
There are some things I'm looking forward to. I taught a Sunday School class and I miss those kids, they are so much fun and I really enjoy them. I love hosting playgroup too and I'm looking forward to getting back to that. The kids are so much fun and their parents are pretty interesting people so I'm looking forward to getting back to that.
But then there are plenty of other things that I don't miss. Dealing with schedules and rules and people who don't want to follow either is not fun. Plus, I may have to lay some people off when I go back. Not looking forward to that at all.
As much as I love my work, I love being with my kids more. I want to crawl into the Tyke's little world and just stay there. I want to be able to flow with his schedule and not worry about anyone else. I want to have the time to let my daughter dawdle the time away without getting frustrated with her, a challenge anytime. I like being a mom and right now I don't feel the need to be much else.

But I know someday I will. I know someday it won't be enough for me to be a mom only and I will need something else to pour my creativity and passion into, which is why I got this job to begin with. Pudding was 18 months and didn't need me as much as she had so it worked out well for me to find an additional occupation. I know when the Tyke is that age, I will be so glad that I kept this job and have it to go back to. So, here I go...