I was planning on going to work today. I was going to go into the office, set Pudding and the Tyke up with some toys and bang out a whole list of things that need to be done before this weekend. I got dressed this morning and got the kids dressed with this in mind. I fed them breakfast and said we had to hurry finishing it so we could go into the office. Then the Pudding showed her true three-year-old self and started pushing and shoving her little brother around, mewing like a cat when I told her not to and just generally being a brat. When I did the responsible parent thing and gave her a time out, all hell broke loose in her little mind and we hit full on tantrum pretty quickly. The work plans were scrapped.
This is why I'm leaving my job, so that I have the freedom to give my daughter the discipline she needs when she needs it so that she knows that certain things are just never going to be ok and Mommy is always going to be there to make sure the rules are enforced.
So for today, I'm working from home. I'll do some updates on the web site, come up with a flier, send a few emails, but that's about all. Today I'm working at home because I am needed more there than anywhere else.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Nothing left to say
Through the glories of facebook I happened upon a long lost ex-boyfriend whose breakup with me was particularly brutal. I was very young at the time which only made it that much worse because stupidity never really helps these situations.
Well, this person, shortly after our breakup 7 years ago, dropped off the face of the earth. I didn't know where he was, if he was still alive, I couldn't get a hold of him, he completely cut ties with me. He had resurfaced a year later with a few emails and a phone call but then he dropped off the face of the earth again.
Around the time I was meeting and beginning to fall in love with my husband, he resurfaced again but obviously nothing came of it and I've moved on. I married my dear Dilbert, had two beautiful children and we've built a life together. Still, every now and then, during a rare quiet moment I would look around online for this person. I never found anything about them, never really expected to. So when I came across his picture of FB, I felt like I'd been slapped in the face.
I don't really know why I did the search, I guess I'd always sortof wondered what happened to him. As uncomfortable as it is to say, at one point a very silly version of myself was in love with this person and even though he broke my heart, I'll always wish him well. Not well anywhere within a 100 mile radius of me but well nonetheless.
So, I found him and I sent him a message, we messaged back and forth for a little while, trading info on where we are now and what we're up to. We left the conversation open ended, saying that if either of us felt like talking again or becoming friends that would be ok. Neither of us has made a move thus far. I guess there is simply nothing left to say.
Well, this person, shortly after our breakup 7 years ago, dropped off the face of the earth. I didn't know where he was, if he was still alive, I couldn't get a hold of him, he completely cut ties with me. He had resurfaced a year later with a few emails and a phone call but then he dropped off the face of the earth again.
Around the time I was meeting and beginning to fall in love with my husband, he resurfaced again but obviously nothing came of it and I've moved on. I married my dear Dilbert, had two beautiful children and we've built a life together. Still, every now and then, during a rare quiet moment I would look around online for this person. I never found anything about them, never really expected to. So when I came across his picture of FB, I felt like I'd been slapped in the face.
I don't really know why I did the search, I guess I'd always sortof wondered what happened to him. As uncomfortable as it is to say, at one point a very silly version of myself was in love with this person and even though he broke my heart, I'll always wish him well. Not well anywhere within a 100 mile radius of me but well nonetheless.
So, I found him and I sent him a message, we messaged back and forth for a little while, trading info on where we are now and what we're up to. We left the conversation open ended, saying that if either of us felt like talking again or becoming friends that would be ok. Neither of us has made a move thus far. I guess there is simply nothing left to say.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Surrendering to the Stereotype
The Tyke had his 8 month check up today. They weigh, measure, poke and prod him to make sure he's exactly where he's supposed to be which is something I already know. He's perfect but getting him and his sister in and out of the Dr.s office is not. Allow me to give you a rundown.
Of course the Tyke fell asleep in the car on the way to the office so getting him out of the car is twice as unpleasant because he wakes up when I adjust the sling around him. Pudding sprints into traffic the second her feet hit the ground and when I yell at her the Tyke starts to fuss. Off to a great start.
We wait in the waiting room for nearly half an hour while the Tyke alternately distroys my hair or ruins my shirt. He does this in the most loving way possible with cute little baby noises that mean "I love you, Mommy" and "I'm so happy you're holding me." Lots of fun.
While the Tyke is destroying me, the Pudding claims that she is tired and wants to snuggle up next to me and sleep. So there we are on the love seat in the waiting room, one on my lap, one next to me, probably looking like everyone's nightmare of motherhood.
Then we get back to the exam room. The Tyke is measured for height (29 inches, HUGE!) and head circumference. The nurse and I had to double team him for both of these. When Pudding was a baby, I always wondered what all the fuss was about. Then we weighed him which means no diaper (21.5 lbs!) and while the nurse had stepped out to find a watch and I was fussing with the new diaper, the Tyke peed all over my leg and onto the floor. This was mere seconds before the diaper was ready. This is one of the downsides to using cloth diapers, if you use the prefolds they do take a second to assemble and apparently this was a second that the Tyke didn't have. So, I clean my leg up and the floor, and my shoe and the nurse comes back in to take his pulse (that's what she needed the watch for). When she leaves I have a few moments with the kids during which the Tyke finishes the job of destroying my hair and spits up all over my other leg while he's giggling at the Puddings dancing. By the time the Doctor actually sees us, I feel like a dishrag.
Luckily our Doctor is a mommy too, she only works three days a week and totally gets how freaking insane mothering is sometimes. I told her that the Tyke was cruising around furniture and that he feel off the bed this morning (he landed on some laundry, he's fine) and she told me about her daughter rolling off the clothes dryer. It's silly but it makes me feel better.
On our way out I grab Pudding a sticker and we make it out the door. As soon as we hit the sidewalk Pudding darts towards traffic and I see myself as though I'm someone else. I see an overweight woman with a crazy ponytail hanging on by a thread, a big baby on her hip and a big purse on her elbow pulling out the scary mommy voice and screaming at a toddler bent on self destruction. I see this woman getting into a mid-sized SUV with a profusion of water bottles, Sunday School take home sheets and old Starbucks cups on the floor. I see her buckle her kids in and give one of them a talking too about running into traffic then I see her very firmly shut the back door. Before she gets into the front door I see her attempt to collect herself.
My formerly childless self would probably have judged this woman harshly. I probably would have thought something along the lines of "Why did you even have children if you don't enjoy them" or something ridiculous like that. The thing is, I did enjoy that little outing with my little ones. When I reread the things I just wrote, I know none of it sounds very fun but, asside from the darting toward traffic bit, I enjoyed the time with my kids. I enjoy seeing the Tyke progress up the growth chart and seeing how protective of him the Pudding is. I enjoyed how all the nurses Ooh'd and Aah'd over how beautiful my babies are. I enjoyed getting mauled by my beautiful little Grizzly because I know he only does it when he's feeling the love. Yes, I yelled at the pudding but to my way of thinking, she needed a yelling at so that she will know that darting into traffic is never a good idea and mommy is never going to think it's ok. So I guess I fit the cranky suburban housewife stereotype pretty well. I'll have to learn to be ok with that.
Of course the Tyke fell asleep in the car on the way to the office so getting him out of the car is twice as unpleasant because he wakes up when I adjust the sling around him. Pudding sprints into traffic the second her feet hit the ground and when I yell at her the Tyke starts to fuss. Off to a great start.
We wait in the waiting room for nearly half an hour while the Tyke alternately distroys my hair or ruins my shirt. He does this in the most loving way possible with cute little baby noises that mean "I love you, Mommy" and "I'm so happy you're holding me." Lots of fun.
While the Tyke is destroying me, the Pudding claims that she is tired and wants to snuggle up next to me and sleep. So there we are on the love seat in the waiting room, one on my lap, one next to me, probably looking like everyone's nightmare of motherhood.
Then we get back to the exam room. The Tyke is measured for height (29 inches, HUGE!) and head circumference. The nurse and I had to double team him for both of these. When Pudding was a baby, I always wondered what all the fuss was about. Then we weighed him which means no diaper (21.5 lbs!) and while the nurse had stepped out to find a watch and I was fussing with the new diaper, the Tyke peed all over my leg and onto the floor. This was mere seconds before the diaper was ready. This is one of the downsides to using cloth diapers, if you use the prefolds they do take a second to assemble and apparently this was a second that the Tyke didn't have. So, I clean my leg up and the floor, and my shoe and the nurse comes back in to take his pulse (that's what she needed the watch for). When she leaves I have a few moments with the kids during which the Tyke finishes the job of destroying my hair and spits up all over my other leg while he's giggling at the Puddings dancing. By the time the Doctor actually sees us, I feel like a dishrag.
Luckily our Doctor is a mommy too, she only works three days a week and totally gets how freaking insane mothering is sometimes. I told her that the Tyke was cruising around furniture and that he feel off the bed this morning (he landed on some laundry, he's fine) and she told me about her daughter rolling off the clothes dryer. It's silly but it makes me feel better.
On our way out I grab Pudding a sticker and we make it out the door. As soon as we hit the sidewalk Pudding darts towards traffic and I see myself as though I'm someone else. I see an overweight woman with a crazy ponytail hanging on by a thread, a big baby on her hip and a big purse on her elbow pulling out the scary mommy voice and screaming at a toddler bent on self destruction. I see this woman getting into a mid-sized SUV with a profusion of water bottles, Sunday School take home sheets and old Starbucks cups on the floor. I see her buckle her kids in and give one of them a talking too about running into traffic then I see her very firmly shut the back door. Before she gets into the front door I see her attempt to collect herself.
My formerly childless self would probably have judged this woman harshly. I probably would have thought something along the lines of "Why did you even have children if you don't enjoy them" or something ridiculous like that. The thing is, I did enjoy that little outing with my little ones. When I reread the things I just wrote, I know none of it sounds very fun but, asside from the darting toward traffic bit, I enjoyed the time with my kids. I enjoy seeing the Tyke progress up the growth chart and seeing how protective of him the Pudding is. I enjoyed how all the nurses Ooh'd and Aah'd over how beautiful my babies are. I enjoyed getting mauled by my beautiful little Grizzly because I know he only does it when he's feeling the love. Yes, I yelled at the pudding but to my way of thinking, she needed a yelling at so that she will know that darting into traffic is never a good idea and mommy is never going to think it's ok. So I guess I fit the cranky suburban housewife stereotype pretty well. I'll have to learn to be ok with that.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
With a little help from my friends
So my dear friend E! is here educating me on all things pop culture while we are eating popcorn, brownies and anything else that's not nailed down. We are great enablers!
So I wanted to show her my blog because I want someone to read this and so I know that I'm not writing for the vast internet oblivion but instead writing for an actual person to read and hopefully be interested.
Last week I signed my blog up for the Google AdSense thingy and my ads are now up. What is it that Google deemed appropriate for a blog on all things mother-ish? TROJAN's, Ecstacy, "feels like nothing's there."
So let me get this straight. My blog which is about having and raising children is a good venue to sell birth control? I've always thought my own sweet babies were a pretty convincing argument in the opposite direction but, perhaps I'm wrong. Oh well, go click on the ad, I get a fraction of a cent every time you do and you get free condoms so you won't find yourself "in the trenches" anytime soon.
So I wanted to show her my blog because I want someone to read this and so I know that I'm not writing for the vast internet oblivion but instead writing for an actual person to read and hopefully be interested.
Last week I signed my blog up for the Google AdSense thingy and my ads are now up. What is it that Google deemed appropriate for a blog on all things mother-ish? TROJAN's, Ecstacy, "feels like nothing's there."
So let me get this straight. My blog which is about having and raising children is a good venue to sell birth control? I've always thought my own sweet babies were a pretty convincing argument in the opposite direction but, perhaps I'm wrong. Oh well, go click on the ad, I get a fraction of a cent every time you do and you get free condoms so you won't find yourself "in the trenches" anytime soon.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Capatilist Medecine
My beautiful three year old daughter has a shiner. A full on swell-your-eye-closed shiner. It's turned so many shades of purple it looks like a revlon ad. She got this by climbing up onto her bed's headboard and crashing into her nightstand.
She isn't a terribly accident prone child so this is our first brush with serious injury in quite some time. I'm sure this will be good experience because her brother appears to be a bit of a daredevil. As soon as I got up there (I'd been in the basement while she was in her room) I iced it and called my husband. He's always a good one to call in case of an emergency as he tends to be very level headed. He thought it best to go to the ER so away we went.
I got there fully expecting to wait for half an hour before we were seen by anyone with any medical knowledge. I was mistaken. A triage nurse took a look at her almost immediately and then did a more full examination about 15 minutes later. We were taken to a room very quickly where we were seen by no fewer than 3 nurses and one doctor. They let me hold Pudding while they treated and examined her. She squirmed around and cried a lot when they put the glue on. (I tried to make that part fun. I told her they were going to glue her back together just like the Tea Pot, didn't work.) They gave her a sticker and a little bear and sent us on our way. The whole thing took about an hour and a half and costs us about $150. That's a lot and I'm sure they bill our insurance company a boat load but I was happy to pay that if it meant that my baby got attention in a timely fashion and didn't have to wait in a room with sick people for 3 hours.
Yes, this didn't turn out to be anything life threatening or even all that crucial. Dilbert and I were discussing later and we discovered that the glue they used would've cost us about $5 at walgreen's but on the off chance that she had had a concussion or some more serious head injury, I'm glad that this frivilous trip to the ER was an option. I'm very afraid that once Obamacare get's put in place (I'm not one of those conservatives who is optimistic at this point) that it won't be. I'll have to call some beaurocrat who will asses weather or not my baby needs the limited medical care they have to offer before I can take her in. Someone who has no skin in the game will be calling the shots.
She isn't a terribly accident prone child so this is our first brush with serious injury in quite some time. I'm sure this will be good experience because her brother appears to be a bit of a daredevil. As soon as I got up there (I'd been in the basement while she was in her room) I iced it and called my husband. He's always a good one to call in case of an emergency as he tends to be very level headed. He thought it best to go to the ER so away we went.
I got there fully expecting to wait for half an hour before we were seen by anyone with any medical knowledge. I was mistaken. A triage nurse took a look at her almost immediately and then did a more full examination about 15 minutes later. We were taken to a room very quickly where we were seen by no fewer than 3 nurses and one doctor. They let me hold Pudding while they treated and examined her. She squirmed around and cried a lot when they put the glue on. (I tried to make that part fun. I told her they were going to glue her back together just like the Tea Pot, didn't work.) They gave her a sticker and a little bear and sent us on our way. The whole thing took about an hour and a half and costs us about $150. That's a lot and I'm sure they bill our insurance company a boat load but I was happy to pay that if it meant that my baby got attention in a timely fashion and didn't have to wait in a room with sick people for 3 hours.
Yes, this didn't turn out to be anything life threatening or even all that crucial. Dilbert and I were discussing later and we discovered that the glue they used would've cost us about $5 at walgreen's but on the off chance that she had had a concussion or some more serious head injury, I'm glad that this frivilous trip to the ER was an option. I'm very afraid that once Obamacare get's put in place (I'm not one of those conservatives who is optimistic at this point) that it won't be. I'll have to call some beaurocrat who will asses weather or not my baby needs the limited medical care they have to offer before I can take her in. Someone who has no skin in the game will be calling the shots.
A Generous Wife
I strive to be a generous wife. I try not to freak out when my husband is 15 minutes late home from work. I encourage him to spend time with his friends. I will even encourage him to go to a weekend long bachelor party at the Saratoga races. He was ready to write it off and not really entertaining the idea of going, I nudged.
I say this by no means to toot my own horn but instead to show the conundrum I've gotten myself into. I am going to stay here with two kids, one of whom looks like an after-school special on child abuse (more on that later) and the other hasn't been sleeping well, while he take a flight to Albany to drink until he passes out and stare at other people's boobies. I'm trying to be generous. I'm in for one hell of a weekend.
I say this by no means to toot my own horn but instead to show the conundrum I've gotten myself into. I am going to stay here with two kids, one of whom looks like an after-school special on child abuse (more on that later) and the other hasn't been sleeping well, while he take a flight to Albany to drink until he passes out and stare at other people's boobies. I'm trying to be generous. I'm in for one hell of a weekend.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Take this job and...
I quit my job this week. To anyone reading this blog, that probably sounds very sudden considering that my last post was 6 months ago and was about going back to work. In the last six months I have learned a few things.
So, when my kids get busy building lives of their own, then I can throw myself back into the wonderful world of work but for right now, it is simply not the season.
- I multi-task well, but only up to a point.
- Crawling babies and the church office do not mix well.
- 2 kids are not twice the work of one kid. It's more like all the snacks, laundry and energy of one child squared.
- For a ministry to continue growing, it needs time that I do no have any longer (see #3).
So, when my kids get busy building lives of their own, then I can throw myself back into the wonderful world of work but for right now, it is simply not the season.
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