Thursday, September 17, 2009

That Mom

Have you ever seen that woman in the mall or grocery store or Walmart, especially Walmart, the one with the bratty kid that she's having to literally drag out of the store. The kid is screaming, hanging limp or kicking their legs and the mom's jaw is tight, her lips pursed and you just know profanity is running through her mind. That was me today.
Except I wasn't at Walmart, I was at the Pudding's preschool. Pudding loves preschool, loves it so much she doesn't want to leave. She thinks I am coming to drag her away in the middle of all the fun and that all the other kids get to stay and play while she is dragged away by a mean mean mommy. At least, that's what I assume is going through her little head, with a three year old, its' hard to tell. She's had preschool for the last three days and here's how it's played out on each day at 3:15.

Me: Hi Pudding, did you have fun?
Pudding: no, I don't want to go home!
M: I'm sorry to hear that, but it's time to go. Look, everyone else is going home too.
P: I don't want to go hooooooooome!
M: Well, we'll be back tomorrow/next week, say good bye to your teacher.
P: NO! You go away, I'll stay here!

This little bit of loveliness ends in me grabbing Pudding by the wrist, along with her backpack and any accumulated art work and marching her out of there. She fusses, cries and occasionally howls on the way out. Most of the time she will walk along but if I let her go for a second, say to hoist the Tyke back up on my hip, she darts back towards the school and her classroom.

While I'm glad that she likes school so much, how do I fix this. All the other kids seem to be happy to see their mothers and march along next to them, telling them about their day. Why is mine the only one who can't say goodbye and demonstrates it so vocally.
Any advice out there mommies? I'm tired of being that mom.


twinsetjan said...

Actually, in my view, you've got it right. Don't give in and don't get upset. Keep up the, "now it's time to go home, you'll have another time to come back to school" and she'll see you aren't to be manipulated. I also found it very helpful to explain to my kids that they had a choice -- they could choose to be upset and act out when they did/didn't want to do something that wasn't possible or that they could choose to cooperate and accept that the situation wasn't going to change -- we'd be going home either way. In the first choice we'd both be unhappy and in the second choice we could both move on to something else and I'd try to help them find something nice about it. I emphasized that it was THEIR CHOICE and that they have that power, but not any power over changing the situation that they were focused on.

Hope that is useful!

And great meeting you yesterday!

KBDidit said...

Thanks for the ideas, I'll definetly give them a try. It was nice to meet you as well, I look forward to seeing you again.