Sunday, January 3, 2010
Why I write
My brother, the Bear, sent me the sweetest message yesterday. I won't reveal all of it just now, only the really important part that illustrates my point in this post.
"I feel like because we don't see each other nearly enough that I started to lose touch of who you are... and though small, this piece of you really makes me feel more connected..."
This is one of the reasons I write. In our far flung family, it is difficult to maintain the relationships that are so important to us. I've become more aware of it as my children grow and I realize that their family is missing whole stages of their lives. The Bear hasn't seen the Pudding since she had just turned two. She's changed so much since then that I sometimes look back at her pictures and wonder how that girl became this one. Both are great in their way but this present version is much more challenging and stubborn. Sometimes I miss the one in the pictures.
My point is that this little outlet of mine isn't just an exercise in navel gazing or narcissism but rather a chance for those dear but not so near to share in the joys and tribulations of my family and feel more connected to us because of it.
There are other reasons of course. I like to think that someday I'll be a good writer, good enough to have someone else think so and pay me lots of money to do it. Practice makes perfect so here I practice.
This little blog is also a way to make new friends with those I never seem to get enough time with. The lovely and talented Nurse Betty and I have known each other, or at least of each other, for over 3 years but we are friends because our husbands are friends so they are always around taking up valuable conversation time. Nurse Betty now reads the blog (Hi Nurse Betty!) and so has a chance to get to know me without those pesky husbands getting in the way. : ) Someday I'll have a chance to return the favor.
Aside from connecting with family, making new friends and practicing the craft of writing I feel that I have a story to tell and a unique perspective on a common situation. By this I mean that my take on typical suburban motherhood is different from many other women's. I've seen what happens when the perfect family picture falls apart and what's more, I've done research and analysis on the impact that has on people like me who are trying to build families after their own has fallen apart. I write to let other women out there know that it is possible to conquer your past and do better than your history. It takes work and self examination and discipline but it is possible to do and if I can help other women to realize this, I will have accomplished my goal.
The last reason I write is because I am in the trenches. This job is hard and sometimes lonely. The buck always stops with mommy because she's the only one there most of the time. When your toddler has an accident, the cat gets sick and the baby pulls over the trash can, you are the only one around who will put it all back together and while you're doing this, you have to be sweet and keep a smile on your face so that your kids know you aren't mad at them. In most jobs you could yell or swear or be grumpy with your co-workers when the job gets tough but in this one, you can't. I put a humorous spin on things to make the frustration and angst seem lighter. Like a pressure cooker on the stove, this blog is my steam valve. I make it funny so I don't explode. And if all of you get a laugh out of it, well that's just gravy.